JOHN MOORE

Parenthood

Posted By: John Moore · 10/31/2012 11:02:00 AM

Sorry. I'm easily distracted as you already knew. This morning I asked what percentage of parents admit to stealing candy from their kids' bags and never gave you the answer. 90%. And the rest are lying. 

I spent the weekend with my folks last week. I'm pretty sure that most seniors are the same so I figured you'd get a kick out of this list of observations:

 

You know you're staying with your elderly parents when:

There is an entire kitchen drawer dedicated to rubber bands and those plastic tabs they use to close bread bags (honestly, what else would you use them for?)

Any time you appear to be engaged in some kind of activity one of your parents suddenly appears and says "do you need something?"

You're eating strawberry rhubarb for breakfast

You endure long conversations trying to figure out when an event happened based on the birth years of cousins and deaths of grandparents. 

Some of the spices date from the Nixon years.

Your bed has a skirt.

You are given a shopping list written on the back of a used envelop

You're cooking in sixty year old pots with dull knives and an oven that should be in a fishing shack.

You hear the following sequence: "Would you like some cheese? Did you get some cheese?  Did you have enough cheese? Are you sure you wouldn't like some more cheese? Don't you like the cheese?"


And it's all part of the reason you love them anyway. 

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