JOHN MOORE

Parenthood

Posted By: John Moore · 10/31/2012 11:02:00 AM

Sorry. I'm easily distracted as you already knew. This morning I asked what percentage of parents admit to stealing candy from their kids' bags and never gave you the answer. 90%. And the rest are lying. 

I spent the weekend with my folks last week. I'm pretty sure that most seniors are the same so I figured you'd get a kick out of this list of observations:

 

You know you're staying with your elderly parents when:

There is an entire kitchen drawer dedicated to rubber bands and those plastic tabs they use to close bread bags (honestly, what else would you use them for?)

Any time you appear to be engaged in some kind of activity one of your parents suddenly appears and says "do you need something?"

You're eating strawberry rhubarb for breakfast

You endure long conversations trying to figure out when an event happened based on the birth years of cousins and deaths of grandparents. 

Some of the spices date from the Nixon years.

Your bed has a skirt.

You are given a shopping list written on the back of a used envelop

You're cooking in sixty year old pots with dull knives and an oven that should be in a fishing shack.

You hear the following sequence: "Would you like some cheese? Did you get some cheese?  Did you have enough cheese? Are you sure you wouldn't like some more cheese? Don't you like the cheese?"


And it's all part of the reason you love them anyway. 

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  1. Brenda Spencer posted on 10/31/2012 02:28 PM
    John you hit the nail on the head. Some of the above comments are bang on. Like the drawer of elastics and bread bag tags. How about, just to add to the list, the fruit cellar stalk.......20 cans of tomatoe sauce and oh yeah don't forget the 15 cans of pork and beans. Just in case......I mean really. Will we be like this one day?.......maybe however I think we will probably have all of that outdated tech stuff hangin' around. Mom really.......8 laptops dating back to 2005 in the closet of the den. Get rid of those dinosaurs......this is 2020! I can hear it now.
  2. StellaSolaris posted on 11/01/2012 09:54 PM
    I'm not yet 40, but those milk tabs, I can tell you, can come in real handy some day. And, oh yes, I have my 'rubbers' hanging off the cupboard handles. And that's not the mention the twist ties lying amongst my gathered tabs.
    That's enough about me, though.
    I wish everyone they could experience what my parents have. They are slowly appoaching 80 and yet they giggle like little school girls every morning and it's a joy to be at the dinner table with them, no matter what time of day. I believe it is the main reason for why I am still single.
    Their joy is not of our lifetime, if I may be so bold (and sad) to say.
  3. Mary Ghio sammut posted on 11/05/2012 06:50 PM
    Thanks John, I read this to my husband and he laughed and said , Good grief, that is you. Now I really feel old.
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